Cross shaped

I want my life to noticably be cross shaped. This may mean that I look really, really odd. I might not look the same way others look. I want to have evidence of being transformed. I notice the shape of the cross here in my friend.

the unfolding

These are not crystal clear. I am reminding myself that is ok.
I LOVE THE LIGHT filtering through the RED - PAINT ME RED, JESUS. Filter all my life through the story of your unfailing sacrifice! I need you!

I love the veins that you can see where LIFE is at work in this CREATION.

RED LION YOU ARE LOVELY.

Blooming in a Different Season

The week after Christmas as I was looking briefly in the "Christmas is over Clearance" section of Super Target, I found the Red Lion Amarylis. It was just a bulb in a nice pot - looking dead. It had originally been $19.99 - but was now only $2.34. I am not sure all the dynamics that made me so JOY FULL about redeeming this flower. But I bought the bulb and brought it home.

Over the last 1 1/2 years I have been learning as a Botanist. God has used this in many ways in my life. This is good. I desperately need to learn more about what He is "silently shouting" through Creation.

Watching my "Red Lion" through the 12 days of Christmas, Epiphany and now Ordinary time has been really strong for me. When I brought it in and placed it in the soil of the pot and looked for a spot of winter sunlight - I felt hopeful about watching. The Kelly men have been kind to make observations and "wow" over the growth of this friend of mine. God even gave me the connection between Paul's words to the church of Galatia in chapter 6 of Galatians to remind me about seasons and reaping and sowing and waiting and growing. I have pondered much about blooming in a different season.

I did not capture images all along the way but I do have some to share. I notice how glad I am about being able to see things in this flower. I notice God whispering many things to my heart. I also notice the warfare and lies that the enemy tells me. "You are wasting time." and "You take duddy photos." and "This doesn't matter." I am fighting for TRUTH and BEAUTY as I even type out these words today.

I know that this Red Lion Amarylis would have been discarded. I know that its value went down drastically from a retail standpoint because it was not chosen to "bloom at the expected time". I know that blooming for Valentine's day instead of Christmas is a different plan. I see that it was hindered from growth in the box with the clearance tag.

I want to keep seeing true beauty and true value and true growth potential. I want to be unhindered and see others live in freedom and WALK after Jesus step by step. I want to lean with my full weight toward the LIGHT. I want to say continually, "Great is the Lord." (Psalm 40) I want to know that God is in charge of my blooming season. I want to be multiplied. I want to live cruciform.

I see these things today in the face of my friend.
I see the color of the blood of my Savior - it set me FREE!
I see the shape of a cross.
I see the LIGHT.
I see the intimate care of a CREATOR.
I see GROWTH.
I see waiting.
I see stamen and carpel and petal.
I see HOPE.

So I am choosing to share here. These images are not all "award winners" but they are a part of the Red Lion story for me. They are an extravagant reminder of things the Spirit is teaching me today.

"My love for God is sustained, not primarily by enjoying His blessings or keeping his rules, but rather by Spirit-nourished CONFIDENCE in God's HEART and Spirit-empowered RELEASE of our Passion for Him." - Larry Crabb

the art of remembering

"If my art is an ongoing conversation I have with my life where I dream of all that might be possible, the added bonus is that I get to encourage my children in their dreams, too. I also see beauty in less likely places than I used to, like the tiny white T-shirt I just bleached that reappears smeared with grass stains. I study my children and never cease to be amazed by the complexity and uniqueness of their delicate faces. They are small, priceless masterpieces." - Kierstin Castella

I am putting this down in a form of writing while it is in my brain and heart. It is not a time when I have lots of time. It is not a thought that has been fully processed. But it is real. I have been pondering how the last 18 years of my life have been JAM FULL of the living art of children and remembering children and teaching children to remember.

I have studied the faces of 3 sons and see the complexity of the Creator's unique mark on each of them. I have studied the faces of countless middle school and high school students in 3 different states and several other countries. I am back around now to being a "teacher" in some "official" sense of the word and I am studying new little faces of a variety of ages. What I see are masterpieces that bear the signature of a Triune God.

Every day I am tempted to not notice because it seems easier. I am tempted to forget because it is more efficient. I wrestle with shutting down because it is all messy.

But today I am thankful. I am thankful that every day I have been in the process of some form of art with children for the last 6,570 days of my life. I wonder how many days of this type of art God will give me? No matter....I am a very wealthy woman.

I see a generation RISING UP TO TAKE THEIR PLACE

I keep pondering this blog. I keep chewing on what it means for my heart. yesterday I spent a LONG time talking to God about what it means that He is giving me a season in which I am, in the span of each week, shepherding 11 3 year olds, 15 8-10 year olds, and upwards of 15 17-18 year olds. Plus caring for a 9 year old son, 15 year old son, and at a distance and 18 year old. This morning I read these words from T.M. Moore. I am sharing them here because I am continuing to ponder the RICHES of this season that I am entrusted with. I want to write this down because I do believe it is a WEALTH entrusted to me. I want to be alert and faithful. I want to train the next generation as disciples of Jesus Christ. I want to WALK OUT Psalm 78. I want to believe that Jesus thinks being with children is so so valuable. I don't want to miss this.

Devotional written by T.M. Moore

Yours is the duty of instructing the young, that they fall not into sin and the devil not drag them away to his house reeking of death.

- The Rule of Carthage (Irish, 7th century)

Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.

- Titus 2.6

All adults have a responsibility toward the rising generation, to teach them the way of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. We do this by signing up to serve in our churches - Sunday school, youth ministry, and so forth. We also do this with our own children, at home. And we do this by the zeal, boldness, and manifest joy with which we undertake the task of learning the things of Christ ourselves.

Oops. The old saw, "Children don't do what you say, but what they see you do," probably helps to explain why so many young people abandon their faith once they head off to college. They simply haven't seen anything worth living for in the adults they grew up with in church. Young people are looking for purpose, mission, something big to invest themselves in for the long haul. Is this what they see in your church? In you?

Make no mistake about it, we, the adults in our churches, are teaching the young people who will take our places (or not). We are teaching them by our words, deeds, priorities, practices, and everyday ways of life. If all they see in us is a paste-on faith over a life that looks pretty much like everyone else, they'll cast the paste-on aside and cling to the life as the thing that matters most.

Of course, that won't satisfy them - any more than it satisfies us. But until the adults in our churches begin demonstrating more vigor and earnestness about the life of faith, they will continue to teach the generation to come that Christianity is pretty much a take-it-or-leave-it deal - nice if you need it, but not necessary if you don't.

The education of the next generation begins with each one of us. Let's make better use of the opportunities we have, shall we?

a nest stirred up.

"Though many of us have seen pictures of a huge eagle's nest high in the branches of a tree or in the crag of a cliff, few of us have gotten a glimpse inside. When a mother eagle builds her nest she starts with thorns, broken branches, sharp rocks, and a number of other items that seem entirely unsuitable for the project. But then she lines the nest with a thick padding of wool, feathers, and fur from animals she has killed, making it soft and comfortable for the eggs.

By the time the growing birds reach flying age, the comfort of the nest and the luxury of free meals makes them quite reluctant to leave. That's when the mother eagle begins stirring up the nest. With her strong talons she begins pulling up the thick carpet of fur and feathers, bringing the sharp rocks and branches to the surface. As more of the bedding gets plucked up, the nest becomes more uncomfortable for the young eagles. Eventually, this and other urgings prompt the growing eagles to leave their once-comfortable abode and move on to more mature behavior." Today in the Word, June 11, 1989

"....like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them on its pinions." - Deuteronomy 32:11

changes.

I am writing about changes. I am writing about anger and struggle and tears.

I am writing about going into the one fabric store that I have known inside and out for the last 7 years that has now completely changed.

Joann's etc. is now just JOANN. I have been going to this store since we moved here in 2003 and I learned over the 7 years where things were. I learned about how to maneuver my way around with limited time, mostly because they are so short staffed that I could never find anyone to help me. I learned how to work on my memorization of Psalm 40 when I waited in the lengthy lines to have fabric cut - or to check out.

On Friday of last week we ran into what I knew as "Joann's etc." and found instead "JOANN". (SEE THE LARGE OUTSIDE SIGN FOR VERIFICATION)

I was aghast.

Who changed this vast store around? Every item, every aisle - reconfigured. Things grouped together that have never been together. A super large cutting station where you have to take a number and watch the screen to see when your number is up.

As I wandered the aisles I even said out loud, "It took me 7 years to learn this store, now it is all changed."

I know this seems like a huge response for something that really doesn't matter. And that is why I knew that the Holy Spirit was doing something else in my heart as I evaluated why JOANN made me so frustrated.

I was able to tell God that changes make me feel very out of control. Changes in names, changes in groupings, changes in waiting, changes of any kind - they cause me to recognize that my own way of "I can find it on my own, thanks" attitude doesn't always work.(especially in God's kingdom)

When we moved back to Knoxville, (which I never imagined we would be able to do) in spring of 2003, Taylor was turning 11. I have maneuvered through the turns of adolescence and cried out to God many times. I have also often thought, "we have been working with students this age for a long time - we have some experience here."

And now, Taylor is 18, and things are changing.
He is leaving.
He is not a child.
Everything is not as it has been.
Some of that is so good - and some of that is so hard.

I was able to face my own attitude about JOANN because it is also my heart about changes in our family. I felt like pouting and saying, "I won't shop here now because it is too hard - and too different!" I feel the temptation to say to God, "Changes are too hard - can't you just make things easier?" and in both of these situations I recognize the darkness of my own heart and my constant need of a Redeemer.

Will I run to the feet of my King and lay down the BURDEN of change? Will I wash His feet with my tears?

HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL NEVER CHANGE.